“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken” Oscar Wilde
Before you even think about starting the task of tidying your home and mind, ensure you know yourself. The first thing to let go of is any reluctance to embrace your core authentic self.
Why is being “yourself” so important? Physical clutter is often accumulated when we are unsure of who we are and what we want. We buy what we think we should want. What others want. What we think others think we want……you get the idea. Only to discover we don’t use it…
Likewise, shoehorning ourselves into a social situation we don’t enjoy is a recipe for misery (yes you can declutter people) After all, it takes a huge amount of emotional energy to pretend to be someone we’re not. And it’s awfully detrimental to our self esteem. The worst case scenario would be that we change who we are in order to spend time doing things we don’t enjoy, with people we don’t like. Furthermore, it’s obvious when someone isn’t authentic so we don’t connect with people in these situations – something all human beings need to do on some level.
So know what you like and care about. Once you do, you will be able to trust your instincts, rather than agonise over decisions about what to keep in your home and life. There’s no ‘right’ answer or trick about what to keep. The answer is inside you.
Care about yourself enough to care about who you really, truly are. Whether you’re a person who likes reading Harry Potter, completing craft projects, going to Bingo, watching a Take That concert or eating Haribo on the sofa in your onesie (that’s me) – embrace it! And fill your life with as much of it as is feasible.
Also, know what you fear. So you fear feeling unprepared? Appearing ungrateful? People rejecting you? Fears such as these stem from childhood or early teens when others probably unwittingly made you feel like this when you were being yourself (children just are) But being aware of your fears takes some of the fear away. And as an adult, you can defend your decisions in a way you could not as a child. Researcher and Storyteller, Brene Brown suggests that the most emotionally healthy people are able to let go of who they think they are supposed to be and embrace their vulnerability. During the decluttering process, you may feel vulnerable – but that’s okay – trust that you will be just fine without the excess stuff.
“When you are clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard what does not support these. Whether that’s the clutter in your cabinets or the commitments on your calendar” said Victoria Moran
All that remains is the freedom to start living.
Thank you so much for reading!
A Tidy Mind
Ps. As well as the physical decluttering and organising of my clients homes, we also focus on changing habits, improving dysfunctional thinking and making sure the home is a true reflection of what is really of value to them. Please get in touch with me at [email protected] if you think I can help you.